September 20th, 2017

The Most Popular Way People Lose Friends and What to Do About It

When you know someone holds an opposing view to your own, whether religious or political or anything else really, do you ever take it upon yourself to aggressively introduce your opposing viewpoint into the conversation, perhaps with the goal of converting them to your perspective and knowing full well that they’re likely to resist your efforts by arguing back, and maybe you even bring it up because of that certain knowledge?

If you do, have you ever questioned why you do this?

And more importantly, have you ever determined what the ultimate results are, and how those results are detrimental to your relationship with that person?

If you want to live a fulfilling life, free from friction and animosity with others, and if you want to live a tranquil life where you’re at peace with yourself and others — others who respect you — baiting people into useless arguments where nothing is accomplished (other than to arouse resentment) will sabotage your efforts.

It will cause people to resent you and be a cause of them losing respect and esteem for you.

Baiting people into religious or political arguments (or any kind of argument for that matter) is a fairly common pastime among a lot of people.

But why do they do it?

And why do you find yourself doing it?

If the only thing these arguments accomplish is to generate resentment in others and create disharmony between you, which is if not always, almost always the case, what is there to gain by doing it?

If you investigate the true motives for baiting people into useless arguments over mere opinions, and you’re truly honest with yourself, you’ll likely come to the conclusion that one of the reasons you do it is because you want to make sport of the other person.

You want to relish in the fact that you’re the cause of them being riled up.

But this is a pretty sadistic thing to do, don’t you think?

To take pleasure in irritating others and upsetting them on purpose, just so you can gloat over them for losing control of their emotions, is not only a rather sinister thing to do, doesn’t it reveal that you have a need for power over other people, a weakness of character nobody envies?

And you know why people thirst for power over others, don’t you?

It’s a mere compensation people enact because they lack control over themselves. It’s a mask people wear to hide from themselves from the fact that they lack self-control.

The subconscious thought process is this:

“If I can get somebody else to lose control of their emotions, it distracts me from having to look at and acknowledge that I lack control over my own emotions. Instead, I can be critical of others who exemplify what I’m most secretly guilty of.”

Another reason people bait others into useless arguments over a difference of opinions is because they have a strong need to be right.

In fact, their desire to be right often seems to be more important to them than establishing and maintaining harmonious relationships. They would rather be the cause of unnecessary friction and tension than back down and admit that they could be wrong.

Can you identify with this?

If you think back to the last time you intentionally baited someone into a useless argument, was your underlying motive the need to prove the other person wrong just so you could reassure yourself that you are right, that you hold the “correct” viewpoint?

But who cares?

What’s even accomplished?

Trying to bait others into useless arguments is only something uncool and eventually unpopular people do. The practice only succeeds at turning others into antagonists rather than friends.

So if you find that you’re guilty of doing this, start asking yourself some important questions...

What’s more important to you:

Being “right” at the expense of others (who will only go on to bitch about you and trash-talk you behind your back) – or winning the respect and esteem of others who will genuinely love hanging out with you, because you don’t have the urge to argue with them over every little difference of opinion?

I mean, can’t you accept that other people hold different opinions than you, or does it really bother you that much?

Do you see the situation as an invitation to make it your mission to ridicule them for having a different opinion than you, perhaps as a futile tactic intended as an attempt to change their mind?

If you want to be respected and esteemed by others, why not resolve to be okay with others having different viewpoints than yours, without the urge to argue with them or try to convert them to your way of thinking by attempting to demonstrate the “error of their ways” or the “fallacies in their arguments”?

But if like enjoy making yourself unpopular and the subject of griping and gossip behind your back, by all means, keep trying to argue with others over differences of opinion and continue making vain attempts to convert them to your viewpoints or your way of thinking.

The choice is yours...

Do you want to make and keep friends, and enjoy harmonious relationships with them – or don’t you?

 



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