The Secret to Understanding Peoples’ Sometimes Confusing Behavior

How do you feel when people send you mixed-signals?

And perhaps more importantly, how do you read them and respond to them?

You’ve had people tell you one thing, but then they didn’t follow-through on what they said they would, haven’t you?

In these situations, have you ever gotten excited and had high hopes because someone expressed interest in you, whether in terms of dating them or getting hired for a position, and you eagerly waited for the opportunity to be realized?

But have you ever had the experience of not only waiting on them to get back to you to progress or escalate the situation, but, after a period of not hearing from them, you also followed-up with them to check in on where things were at?

How did they react to your further pursuits?

Did they assure you that all was well and plans would be made in the future?

Or did they give you excuses for why nothing has happened yet?

These situations can be painful and frustrating, can’t they?

I mean, we expect a specific outcome, yet the person seems to continually delay that outcome, which maybe arouses uneasy and restless emotions, and perhaps we soon start wondering if it’s ever even going to happen.

What’s going on here?

Why do people sometimes say they will do something or are interested in getting together or whatever, but then it never seems to happen?

It can be confusing and disappointing, can’t it?

Through their words, people sometimes get our hopes up, but then they later let us down through their actions, don’t they?

So what’s the best way to deal with situations like these?

Is there a way to coax or influence the person to follow-through and make good on their words?

Is there a way to relieve ourselves of that waiting period and the tumultuous emotions that can often go along with it?

Should we just continue to “pester” them, in hopes that eventually they will make good on their words and commit to something?

Or is this all the wrong approach to take entirely?

What if, instead of believing what people tell us, we used their actions as a barometer for what kind of outcome we can expect?

Have you ever noticed that a person’s actions never lie?

When someone says one thing but then does the opposite, which do you believe – their words, or their actions?

Isn’t it true that their actions are the real indicators as to what they really want to give or get from the situation?

Thus, wouldn’t it be wise to ignore peoples’ words in these situations and instead listen to their actions alone?

For if their actions tell the truth and their words “lie” or at least lead us on, won’t we be doing ourselves a great favor by listening to what they do?

Instead of getting our hopes up because someone expressed interest in us, only to be met by disappointment when they don’t commit, wouldn’t it be profitable to change our approach?

Wouldn’t we benefit immensely by reading people not according to their words but by observing their actions?

Wouldn’t taking this approach eliminate the frustrations, disappointments and heartaches that tend to go along with taking people at their word and waiting on them to follow-through on it, when it becomes evident that their actions reveal their words are false?

But why do people lead us on, anyway?

Why do they tell us they’re interested in seeing us or interacting more but then they don’t follow-up or make a commitment to do that?

Maybe you’ve even been in the situation yourself.

And if you have, don’t people “lie” to us and give us excuses because they don’t want to hurt our feelings?

Isn’t it because they want to prevent us from feeling that sting of rejection?

And don’t they want to do that because they don’t want to be the one blamed for our disappointment?

With that said, why not make a resolution?

Why not resolve to stop letting yourself get vested in people expressing their desire to spend time with you or take you on for a job, or whatever – which will only make you get your hopes up, as you wait and wonder – and instead listen and pay attention only to their actions?

Actions, not words, reveal peoples’ true intentions!

 

 


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