The Top Trait of Highly Sociable People and How to Acquire It

Who would you say has more wisdom when it comes to socializing:

The person who monopolizes the conversation by talking on endlessly, making others listen to them – or the person who speaks little but actively and attentively listens to what others have to say by asking the right questions?

I mean, don’t we often think that sociable people are the ones who are outspoken, know how to talk well, and are knowledgeable enough to speak on a wide range of topics?

But what’s been your experience with people like this?

Do you end up liking and respecting them when all is said and done – or are you just glad they’ve left your presence?

When they’re speaking, do you eagerly hang on their every word – or is your mind wandering?

And are you impressed by how much knowledge they think they have – or do you just think they’re a mindless bore?

If you’re like most people, you probably come out of these kinds of interactions feeling overwhelmed, exhausted and relieved that it’s over, don’t you?

Isn’t someone who seems to have the need to show-off how smart they are by talking on and on somewhat repulsive to you, not to mention boring?

People who ramble on endlessly about what’s interesting to themselves without questioning whether or not what they have to say is of interest to the person they’re talking to fails to connect with them and win their respect and esteem, don’t they?

But why?

What is it about their approach that fails to make a connection with the person they’re talking to?

Doesn’t the problem lay in the fact that they’re putting the focus on themselves and how they can profit from the interaction, instead of placing the focus on the other person and working to fulfill their needs?

Contrary to the myth that highly sociable people are good talkers, did you know that they actually listen about three or four times as much as they speak?

They put the focus on talking about what’s of interest not to themselves, but what’s of interest to the person they’re talking to. And they do this by asking questions – the right questions, questions that bring topics that are important to the recipient into the forefront of the conversation.

That’s how connections are made – not by trying to demonstrate to people how smart, intelligent or wise of a person you are by showing off how knowledgeable you think you are.

That doesn’t impress people; it just makes them roll their eyes and eagerly wait for their opportunity to make their exit.

Highly sociable people speak very little and they spend most of their time interacting with people by listening to them.


Well, consider this:

If you spend an entire conversation telling another person what you know, how does that increase your knowledge and understanding?

Aren’t you just rehashing things you already know?

And how does that benefit you?

But if you listen to people and ask them questions, doesn’t that put you in the way of learning things you don’t already know?

And isn’t it more profitable to you to continually expand your knowledge concerning other people and the world at large?

Not only that but by refusing to ramble on about what’s of interest to themselves, thereby boring the person they talking to, and instead asking questions that reveal what’s important to the other person, highly sociable people not only expand their knowledge but they also make connections with people quickly and effortlessly.

If you want to be a socially smart, cool person, resolve to speak little and listen much.

Now let me ask you this:

Have you ever encountered someone who was a great listener – someone who, instead of monopolizing the conversation by talking about what they wanted to, asked you questions and then listened attentively to your responses?

What kind of impression did they leave you with?

If you thought about it after interacting with them for ten minutes or more, wouldn’t you have considered them wise?

Perhaps you’ve heard this proverb from King Solomon before:

“Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent.”

Because it’s absolutely true!

Wisdom and silence are a married couple.

If you want to be a highly sociable person, someone who others meet and consider cool and wise, start paying attention to the ratio between how much you speak in a conversation versus how much you listen.

If you find that you talk more than you listen, start training yourself to keep your mouth shut. And instead of talking, practice the habit of asking people questions and listening to their answers.

Again, not only will this win peoples’ respect and esteem, it will put you in a position where you can accumulate useful knowledge that can better your understanding, and thus your life.

But if you’re okay with people thinking you’re a socially inept or foolish person, by all means, continue rambling on and on to them about subjects they likely have no interest in.




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