Why We Don’t Like Some People and What We Should Do About It

You’ve met someone you didn’t particularly like before, right?

But why didn’t you like them?

What about them turned you off?

Have you ever stopped to figure out exactly what it was about that person that made you not like them?

You know … the reason why.

Was it for any of these reasons...

Was it because they got into a heated debate with you when they discovered that you held different opinions or made different choices than you?

Did they spread a bad piece of gossip about you in an effort to hurt your reputation, and it found its way back to you?

Or did they throw a tantrum and make a huge issue over something seemingly small you said or did?

Whatever it was, when it boils down to it, didn’t you come to dislike them because of some way in which they behaved?

But have you ever wondered why people act the way they do?

Why do they do the things they do?

Let me ask you this:

Aren’t behaviors merely reflections of something deeper?

And that is what, exactly?

Well, aren’t the negative behaviors people exhibit generally “manifestations” of some character weakness or flaw that that person has either not yet recognized in themselves, or, so far, failed to correct?

For example, aren’t we almost always turned off by people who brag about themselves, their possessions, or their achievements?

Yet don’t they act in this way because they’re still a victim of their own vanity and love for themselves, a weakness that they have not yet recognized in themselves or have so far failed to conquer?

Isn’t it a character flaw that hasn’t yet been addressed that’s motivating the behavior they exhibited, that in turn turned you off?

But don’t we all have character flaws we haven’t seen or conquered yet?

And don’t those flaws often cause us to act in ways we simply seem to not have the power to resist?

And don’t people often judge us for them?

So if we don’t like being judged for our faults or short-comings that we either know but haven’t yet defeated or aren’t yet aware of, wouldn’t we be good neighbors and citizens if we didn’t do likewise to others.

After all, aren’t we all victims, victims of our own weaknesses?

And is one weakness worse than the other?

Are other peoples’ weaknesses worse than our own?

Or are all simply weaknesses, just different in shape and consequence?

And don’t those consequences work a hardship on us?

Because they do, would we not want others to be compassionate and to not reject and alienate us due to the yet undiscovered or yet to be corrected faults we enact?

And does not the wise person treat others the way they want to be treated?

Do they not know that even though another person’s behavior may be offensive to them, they also recognize that that behavior is motivated by a weakness that is also working a hardship in that person’s life?

Don’t the wise also consider the pain their offender’s behavior works on themselves, just as much as the pain they’re inflicting on us?

Don’t the wise work at eliminating their selfishness until they respond to situations where someone’s giving them grief in a serene and compassionate manner?

For, surely, it is true:

People who injure us simultaneously injure themselves; thus, if we love humanity, should we not also consider their wounds as well, rather than focusing on our victimhood alone?

 

 


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